After warning from top NASA climatologist to end fossil fuel use, worldwide demand has only increased How’s this for a disconnect? Thirteen years ago, Dr. James Hansen, at the time NASA’s top climatologist, wondered aloud at an American Geophysical Union meeting if there was “still time to avoid dangerous anthropogenic interference with global climate.” A […]
Last time at Port Fourchon, Louisiana: After the PFPD had gotten their rocks off via levelling 150 semi-automatic rounds at Big “Papa” Green—the bayou bacteria giant born from a spill of Select Oil Company’s barrels of petroleum-eating microbes—they looked on in dismay as Green walked across the bayou’s edge picking up the globs of slime […]
Climate scientists and average American drivers going in opposite directions “A [vehicle] can be a way to bolster [a person’s] sense of self and their confidence by connecting them to something they feel holds power… to compensate for feelings of insecurity or inferiority.” –Dr. Thomas D’Agostino, psychologist When I heard about Ford Motor’s decision to […]
Last time at Port Fourchon, Louisiana: Sergeant Julius “Mack” McNamara and every other cop on duty in the tiny bayou town made a dusty bee-line toward the Select Oil Company staging site after hearing “shots fired” over their radios. This was a must-attend event in the sleepy community, and no PFPD officer was about to […]
“Mary, grab the baby, the river’s rising Muddy water taking back the land The old-frame house, she can’t take-a one more beating Ain’t no use to stay and make a stand Well the morning light shows water in the valley Daddy’s grave just went below the line Things to say, ‘You just can’t take ‘em […]
Last time at Port Fourchon, Louisiana: The fire department’s hazmat crew chief, Lieutenant Laurent Pinyon, saw what his junior firefighter had seen: a neon green cryptozoological specimen with the height, the width, and possibly the weight of an old dumptruck, stomping up the bayou, away from the sea and toward them, looking pissed about God […]
Science spoke: “Stop using oil and gas.” The world replied: “No.” Why? “Wouldn’t understand if I told you so Wouldn’t care to see if I tried to show Wouldn’t know what to do if I made you feel Like I feel today so don’t bring me down So don’t bring me down “‘Cause the […]
Last time at Macondo: Murray Landau, a 72-year-old retired cop and security guard fell asleep and dreamed of chicken Parmesan while an unknown group of saboteurs bearing AR-15s and nightscopes shot up the 125 barrels of petroleum-eating bacteria swimming in saltwater that the guard was supposed to… guard. Murray managed to radio in the event, and […]
On a daily stroll recently, I noticed a parked pickup truck which was clearly somebody’s idea of “macho” on wheels. The owner, who was away as I took pictures with my phone, seemed to have been concerned with his truck’s chances in some imagined battle with other vehicles on the road. It was only a […]
What gives when a behemoth government agency does virtually nothing in keeping with its own declared mission? “ ‘Oh, but, grandmother, what a terrible big mouth you have.’ “ ‘The better to eat you with.’ “And scarcely had the wolf said this, than with one bound he was out of bed and swallowed up Little […]